Top Chef: Maybe We Should Have Named Her Cockroach

Here we are you guys — the Top Chef episode that’ll determine who will make it to the Final Four. Left in the running are Richard, Yoda, Antonia, Evangelass, and Fleasa. That means either Evangelass or Fleasa are going home this week, right? Right?! After last week’s elimination, I’ve learned not to assume anything, but as a warning, I may have to boycott this show — and these recaps — if someone else other than one of those two gets eliminated this week. Mostly because I will have thrown my laptop through my TV, and won’t be able to watch it or write about it.

Might I suggest you figure this out with a little game of Russian Roulette?

Top Chef: When The Cat’s Away, The Mice Shall Play

This week on Top Chef, the other judges take advantage of Daddy Tom’s absence to make a controversial decision that still has my jaw on the floor.

“I’m thinking I should grab my junk between the second and third course… thoughts?”

Top Chef: Going Against the Grain

This week on Top Chef, Fleasa tries to blame her shitty cooking on sabotage, Evangelass plays dirty (and no, I don’t mean with Fleasa), and Twitch becomes the latest chef sent home for not following the rules.

“Listen all of y’all, this is sabotage!”

Top Chef: Next Time, Just Elope

This week on Top Chef, the chefs compete in two all-time favorite challenges while both old (Twitch v. Richard, Fleasa v. soap) and new (Dale v. Evangelass) rivalries emerge.

“I only married you for your money!”
“I know. And once those start to sag, I’m trading you in for a younger model.”

Gossip Girl: Mostly About My Brother…

This week on Gossip Girl, we finally get the answers to who is gay, and what dirt Georgina has on Serena. While one of the answers a lot of us saw coming, the other one is a truly jaw-dropping moment (hint: it’s not the answer to who’s gay).

“I’m confused… then which one is it?”